


Shades of Pastel Blue

by budapestbuddies



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV)
Genre: Allusions to car crashes, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Mentions of Death, Teacher Reader, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, single dad bucky barnes, two broken people in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 02:00:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30081753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/budapestbuddies/pseuds/budapestbuddies
Summary: After the tragic loss of his wife, Bucky was tasked with raising his daughter on his own for years. Balancing his time between his home life and his hectic work life becomes even more difficult once he meets his daughter’s kindergarten teacher at one fateful parent-teacher conference.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James “Bucky” Barnes/Teacher Reader, Single Dad James “Bucky” Barnes/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

The streetlight shone red in the distance, the unusual abundance of cars for such a late hour of the night coming to a halt in a closely packed line. 

A catchy pop song played throughout the car as cold air blasted through the vents onto Bucky’s hands, which grasped anxiously at the steering wheel, his mind too preoccupied to turn the temperature down. 

He tapped his fingers against the freezing leather, praying that his daughter wouldn't be angry with him for being home so late. He promised her he’d be home early enough to read her a story and tuck her into bed like he always did. 

The meeting had run late. His boss had spent hours overexplaining their next project and when reports and paperwork would be due that by the time he’d left the office it was well past ten o'clock. 

”Damn you, Stark.” Bucky mumbled under his breath, resisting the urge to slam on the gas the moment the cars in front of him began to move again. 

Dolls and colors that scattered the backseat slid from side to side with each frantic turn he made, racing against the clock even though he knew full well his daughter would already be asleep by the time he got home. 

The babysitter's car was parked in his spot when he arrived home and crooked at that. He barely had enough room to shimmy against the garage wall to get to the door. 

He almost topples over when he steps inside, the sudden weight of his five-year-old nearly knocking his keys out of his hands. 

”Becca! Why are you still up?” Bucky asked, scooping her up into his arms and setting his things down on the kitchen counter. 

Becca rested her head on her father's shoulder affectionately. ”Ms. Jones said I could stay up until you got back.” 

Ms. Jones turned the corner, her purse tossed over her shoulder as she made her way toward where Bucky stood. 

She was an older woman. Perhaps in her late sixties or seventies. Ms. Jones was a kind woman, always coming from her home across the street to watch over Becca whenever he asked her to. 

”She's very persuasive for a little one.” Ms. Jones stated, tucking the cash Bucky handed her securely in her purse. 

Bucky led her to the door, opening it for her and flipping on the driveway light. ”Trust me I know. Thanks again for coming on such short notice.” 

Ms. Jones waved him off. ”If you keep paying me as you do I'll be able to buy a new set of pearl earrings I've been eyeing. I'll come  _ anytime _ .” 

Becca rubbed her eyes as Bucky set her down on the floor. 

”Ok miss. I think it's bedtime for you. Don't want to be late for your first day of kindergarten because you don't sleep.” Bucky said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. 

”I don't want to go.” She said. ”Can I just stay home with you?” 

Bucky tutted, shaking his head and bending down to her height. ”Sorry but not gonna happen. Now, how about you go play for a little longer while Daddy goes take a shower real quick. Then I'll read you a bedtime story.” 

The little girl nodded tiredly, stumbling off to her room as Bucky made his way to the bathroom. 

The hot water relaxed his muscles instantly as he stepped inside the shower, washing the stress and anxiousness from his body. 

His comfortable pajamas were a welcome change from his work suits and dress shoes, his mind beginning to wander as he began to set out his clothes for the next morning. 

Becca was growing up so quickly. It seemed like just yesterday he was holding her in his arms for the first time in the hospital, his heart swelling with a newfound love he didn't know was possible. A love so different from anything he’d felt before. 

It's hard for him to think about that time without thinking about  _ her _ . After all these years he still isn't able to walk through that hospital or anyplace he knew she loved without thinking of her. 

Thinking of her makes him think of other things. Things he wanted to remember much less than the birth of his daughter. 

A drive home from dinner. A crash. A loud ringing in his ears. A long, sinister beep from a monitor connected to her heart. 

Coming home to his baby alone.

Bucky pushes the thoughts away, rubbing the dampness from under his eyes before proceeding down the hallway to read his daughter her story. 

Just like always. 

__________________________________

Colorful posters covered the walls of the classroom, livening up its dreary beige walls with comfort and childlike innocence. 

A smile graced (Y/N)’s face as she secured the final poster to the wall, pushing the final baby blue thumbtack into place. 

Taking a step back, she admired the newly decorated room. A calming atmosphere to teach her new students their ABC’s and watch them fingerpaint the masterpieces that they held in their imaginations. 

Ideally, she wouldn't have been decorating her room just hours before the children would arrive but she had no other choice. She hadn't arrived in town until the night before and by the time she had finished unpacking her things to fill the tiny new apartment, she had already fallen fast asleep on her thrifted sofa. 

“Everything good here?” A voice called from beyond the door, it's room name freshly painted in bright blue. 

”Yes. Everything is looking great, Ms. Romanoff.” (Y/N) said, whipping around to see her superior standing in the doorway. 

Ms. Romanoff nodded her head, checking off a few boxes on her clipboard with a pleased grin. ”Perfect. The busses should arrive in a few minutes. Don't worry. These kids aren't like the older ones. I promise you they'll be very kind.” 

(Y/N) smiled gratefully, pulling her cardigan closer to her body to block out her own nerves as the school bell rang loudly over the intercom. 

”You ready?” Ms. Romanoff asked, turning to watch the children pouring from the buses open doors. 

”Ready as I'll ever be.” (Y/N) replied. 

The large glass doors flung open, children of all ages stumbling their way through the hall in search of their rooms. Younger ones still unable to read searched for doors marked with their assigned colors as older ones congregated in various groups to catch up with friends unseen over the summer. 

The kids lined up single file as instructed along the wall of her classroom, their wide eyes scanning the new and chaotic environment, some clutching the straps of their book bags tighter while others bounced up and down on the soles of their feet in excitement. 

”Alright everyone, ” (Y/N) called cheerily as the hallway had cleared a bit. ”We’re all going to pick a cubby for our bags and find a place at one of the tables ok?” 

The children raced through the door, trying to get to the color chair they wanted before their classmates. A few sulked as they took their spots, displeased with where they ended up. 

Hours flew by quickly. The children played with blocks and dolls, perhaps forming their first friendships as the day went on. Letters and numbers were learned between playtimes through colorful books and flashcards. 

(Y/N) sat at her desk, examining the family portraits the children had been assigned to draw and color however often they pleased throughout the day. 

Most were finished, except for a few that had forgotten to color their house and dogs. Some even going as far as to forget to draw one of their parents or the entirety of their house. 

She looked up from the colorful drawings, pleased that her first day had gone so well as she scanned the snacking children. 

Seats had changed throughout the days, the want for certain color chairs being abandoned in favor of seats next to their newly made best friends. 

One girl sat at the corner table alone, nibbling at the cookies from her lunchbox as her tearful eyes gazed wistfully at the other children. 

(Y/N) rose from her desk, her brows furrowed as she made her way around the tables to where the little girl sat before taking a seat in one of the vacant chairs beside her. 

Cookie crumbs and spilled drops of Apple juice covered the girl's side of the table, her napkin discarded across the table. The girl looked up with curious eyes as (Y/N) swept away the mess with her sleeve. 

”Hi. I'm Ms. (Y/N).” She said, smiling softly. 

The little girl rubbed under her eyes, clearly still sleepy even after naptime. ”I know.” 

”What's your name? I just met you all today so maybe you can remind me so I won't forget again.” 

”Becca.” The little girl said, tugging at the bottom of her pigtails as she shoved her cookie into her mouth. 

”Nice to meet you, Becca.” (Y/N) replied. ”Why are you sitting all by yourself?” 

Becca shrugged. ”I don't know.” 

”Do you know why you're sad?” 

”I don't wanna talk about it.” 

”Are you sure? Maybe I can help make it better?” 

”No!” 

(Y/N) pulled back. Surprised at the girl's sudden outburst and shaken by the sudden ringing of the bell as the other children ran out of their chairs to grab their bags. 

Becca flew out of her seat as well, not bothering to throw away her napkin or juice box before bolting for her cubby and out the door to the bus loop. 

(Y/N) assumed it was a simple case of first-day shyness. The girl had seemed distracted and distant from the moment she stepped foot into the classroom, not paying attention during storytime and halfway finishing her drawing of her family. She hoped in a few day's time her student would be cheery and bright like all the other children. 

But that day never came. 

All hope that Becca would walk into class and sit beside one of the other children drained from the young teacher's body as a week went by with no sign of any interaction with the other students. 

Becca simply sat in her chair alone, doodling in her coloring book during playtime and eating her snack by herself. 

The children lay on their mats, some dreaming blissfully while others feigned sleep as their eyes peeked open to catch a glimpse of what their teacher was doing behind her desk across the room. 

Faint gliding of pen against paper filled the silent room as (Y/N) neatly filled out the paper on her desk. 

A request for a conference with a parent. 

Perhaps something was going on at home that had caused the little girl to be so standoffish toward the other children. Perhaps she was wrong and it was all just a simple case of silence and shyness. It didn't hurt to make sure. 

She slipped the paper in an envelope, her flowery writing  _ To the Parents of Rebecca Barnes _ onto the front before sealing it. 

At the end of the day, when the bell had rung and the children rushed out of the classroom in their eagerness to return home, she placed the envelope in Becca’s hands. 

”Now this is a very important note to go home with you. Can you keep it safe for me?” (Y/N) asked kindly. 

Becca nodded, shoving the envelope into the pocket of her book bag before walking off, her dark ponytail swaying as she raced to catch her bus. 

(Y/N) sighed, rubbing her hands against her pants as she made her way back into the classroom to clean up a bit. 

Maybe she was wrong. Maybe nothing was going on at home with the girl. It was probably nothing. 

She truly hoped it was. 


	2. Chapter 2

Waitresses feet paced against the restaurant's hardwood floor as Bucky’s fingers glided over the letters of his keyboard, typing in short bursts between each sip of his drink. 

His coworkers sat across from him, endlessly chatting about their day and venting about the state of their work. 

”All I'm saying is that if Stark wants these blueprints done by the end of the week, he needs to stop sending me more shit to work on.” 

”I hear you, Steve. I was up all night getting the permits to start construction. The day before that I was up all night getting the designs approved by corporate. It's always ’Wilson do this, do that, now do this.’ I'm seriously looking forward to having the weekend off.” 

Bucky shut his eyes for a moment, blocking out the glare from his screen for a moment as he let his eyes readjust to the room around him. 

Steve turned to face him. Sam took a long, drawn-out sip through his straw before placing it back onto the coaster. 

”Finally done?” Steve asked, gesturing toward the laptop Bucky had begun to shove back into its case. 

Bucky sighed, looking down to examine the menu for the first time since they sat down. ”Yeah. Sorry about that. Reports due tomorrow. I’d have them done by now but I had to bring Becca to ballet class yesterday and completely forgot.” 

A waitress swung by their table, quickly taking their orders before zooming off to attend to the other tables in the crowded section of the seating area. 

”She started school, right? How's that going?” Sam asked once she had walked off. 

”Um yeah she did. I haven't talked to her much about it.” Bucky replied. 

He hadn't had much time recently to ask her much about anything. Between his work and Becca’s school and ballet practices, he only truly got to spend time with his daughter during the nighttime, when they were both tired from their days. He'd rather spend his time reading books and playing pretend with her than hassling her about school. 

”Peggy and I were wondering if you guys would want to come roller-skating with us in a couple of weeks. Sarah has been asking when she can play with Becca again so we figured we’d invite you guys along.” Steve chimed in as they began to leave, their plates all mostly scraped clean and the bill paid. 

Bucky nodded. ”Yeah sounds good. Just let me know the time and date. I gotta head home. Becca just got off of school and Ms. Jones is probably waiting for me to get back. Tonight's bingo night at the civic center and she doesn't want to be late again.” 

The three men said their goodbyes, each of them hastily dashing to their vehicles to make it home to their families before nightfall against the bustling city traffic. 

Unease settled in Bucky’s stomach with each turn, as he always did on this side of town. Truly he would have preferred to go to any other restaurant on any other street even miles away from these winding roads. 

He knew what intersection was coming up. The exact placement of the streetlight ahead and powerline above him was ingrained into his memory. 

A near-silent whisper escaped his lips as he approached the light. 

Please be green. Please be green. Please be green. 

Red shone in the distance, causing every muscle in his body to tighten as he came to a halt. 

Images flash before him. 

A red truck flying down the road. His fingers intertwined with the woman beside him. A flash of light. 

A loud honk from the car behind him causes him to jump and stare up at the now green light before pressing the pedal down under his toes. 

The rest of the drive home was spent in silence, except for the ringing he heard in his ears. 

Or perhaps it was just the memory of a ringing. 

He's home before he knows it, his fingers fumbling with his keys to unlock the door. He can barely remember pulling into the driveway or getting out of the car. 

Becca sat in the living room, braiding one of her doll's hair before running her fingers through it to untangle her work to start over. Ms. Jones rose from the couch, switching off the television as she made her way to grab her purse. 

”Finally. Thought you'd never get here. No time to waste, ” She says as she opens the door. ”You can pay me later. Bingo awaits.” 

The door swung shut as Becca raced her father, throwing her arms around his waist as he placed his laptop and keys on the counter. 

Bucky leans down to return her embrace. ”Hey, baby. Did you eat supper?” 

”Yep. Chicken nuggets. The dino ones were all gone.” Becca replied cheerily, hopping up to sit on one of the kitchen chairs. 

”Homework is done?” 

”No homework.” 

”Really? Because I'm going to check your bookbag.” 

”Ok.” Becca said, shrugging her shoulders as she hurled her bag onto the table. 

Bucky unzipped the pockets, flipping through her folders and planner only to find no papers left unwritten on and no assignments to be done. 

Becca let out a huff of triumph. ”See, I told you.” 

”What's this?” Bucky asked, plucking an unopened envelope from the side pocket. 

”Dunno. Ms. (Y/N) said it was a special letter to keep safe till I got home.” Becca replied. 

To the Parents of Rebecca Barnes, the front read in swoopy baby blue ink. 

Tearing the envelope open, he read its contents. 

”Dear Mr, ” he paused for a moment. ”And Mrs. Barnes. Becca has been showing some unusual behavior and I would like to have a meeting with you after school tomorrow to discuss the reasoning.” 

Bucky sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. ”What happened?” 

”Nothing.” Becca replied, shifting in her seat. ”I've been good at school.” 

”Then why am I having to have a conference with your teacher?” 

”I don't know. Maybe you should ask her when we go.” 

”Ok Miss Attitude. Go play with your doll some more. I've got to call into work and explain that I've got to leave early.” Bucky said, tossing the envelope onto the table. 

Unusual behavior, he thought as he dialed his bosses number, what does she mean by unusual behavior? Becca seemed fine at home. Was he missing something? 

He'd find out soon enough, he supposed. 

_________________________________________  
”Daddy should be here soon.” Becca said, spinning in one of the rolling chairs (Y/N) had set up in front of her desk for the conference.

The other children had all since left, scurrying to their busses and parents' cars. The schoolroom was completely quiet apart from the absent-minded clicking of (Y/N)’s pen against her leg as she waited. 

”I sure hope so.” (Y/N) joked. ”I can't stay here all night and I bet you don't want to sleep here either.” 

After a few moments, the classroom door swung open, a man dressed in what looked like a suit stepped inside. His blue eyes scanned the interior, lingering on the letters and numbers hanging on the posters lining the walls as he made his way to them. 

”Sorry I'm late.” He said, taking a seat beside Becca who rested her head against his arm. ”Work ran a bit longer than I expected. We can go ahead and get started.” 

A shiver ran down (Y/N) spine as their eyes met. Bucky felt the hair on his arms stand up a bit.

”Um ok. Well, Mr. Barnes, as you probably read in my note Becca has been acting a bit strange. This isn't a new thing by any means. It's been going on since she's started school.” 

Bucky furrowed his brows. ”And how has she been acting?” 

”Just not speaking much with the other children. Crying alone.” 

”Uh-huh.” He replied. Becca buried her face further into her father's sleeve. 

”She doesn't want to talk to me about it so I thought maybe she had brought up something to you.” 

”Not at all. In fact, she's been really normal at home.” 

(Y/N) nodded slowly. ”Really?” 

”Why is that so surprising?” 

”I was just wondering if maybe something was going on at home to make her so upset.” 

”What are you implying?” Bucky asked. Was this woman insinuating he was doing something to his child? 

”I'm not implying anything, sir.” (Y/N) replied calmly, sensing his growing frustration. ”I'm just making sure everything is alright.” 

”Everything is fine, thank you very much.” Bucky snapped, wrapping his arm around Becca’s shoulders. 

(Y/N) looked over at Becca who was picking at her fingernails. ”Has Mrs. Barnes noticed anything strange?” 

”There is no Mrs. Barnes. Becca's mother passed away almost four years ago.” Bucky said. 

A silence hung in the air for a few moments. 

”Oh.” (Y/N) mumbled. ”I'm sorry.” 

”Look this is going nowhere. Becca, is something going on at home?” Bucky said.

Becca shook her head instantly. 

Bucky eyed (Y/N) as she looked down at her lap. ”How about school?” 

Becca paused. She looked over at (Y/N) for a split second before shaking her head. 

”No? Ok.” Bucky said. ”I think this was all just a waste of time. Maybe you were mistaken. She says she's fine.” 

”Kids who are fine don't cry alone in corners.” (Y/N) blurted out. 

”Are you calling her a liar?” Bucky retorted. 

”Are you calling me one?” 

”I've had enough of this. You insinuate that I'm doing something to make my daughter upset. You say I'm calling you a liar when she's clearly alright and you most likely just don't understand that she's shy around people she doesn't know. Thank you for wasting my time. Becca, let's go home.” He snapped, shopping the teary-eyed little girl into his arms and storming out of the room, door slamming behind him. 

A poster fell off the wall, the blue thumbtacks holding it in place sliding across the floor.


	3. Chapter 3

The bubbling of boiling water on the stove filled the kitchen as Bucky plopped a handful of brittle, uncooked noodles into the pot, mumbling angrily under his breath. 

How dare that woman think he was causing his daughter to be upset. What did she know about anything? 

Becca was just shy, that's all. She didn't like talking to people she didn't know well. Maybe she just missed her father and wanted to go home to him. That's normal for kids just starting school. 

”Daddy?” 

Bucky spun around the moment the weepy sound of his daughter's voice reached his ears. 

Becca sat at the kitchen table, her cheeks stained where her tears had fallen and her eyes red and puffy. She picked at her fingernails in between shaky, short breaths through her nose. 

Tears spilled from her eyes, looking down at the note that still lay halfway tucked back into its envelope on the table. 

” It's ok, Becks.” Bucky said softly, abandoning the food for a moment to pull out a chair beside her. 

Becca shook her head, whispering a soft ’ _ no _ ’ in-between small sobs. 

”What do you mean? What's wrong? You don't have to go to school tomorrow if you don't want to.” Bucky pressed a kiss to her hair as she leaned on his arm. 

”I'm sorry.” She said, her cries getting louder. 

”Becks, baby, shhh. It's ok. You have nothing to be sorry about.” 

”Yes. I do. I lied.” 

”What do you mean you lied, ” Bucky asked, reaching for a napkin to wipe away her tears and the liquid dripping from her nose. ”Becca, what are you talking about?” 

”To you and Ms. (Y/N).” 

”At the conference? Rebecca, what did you lie about?” Bucky asked, panic rushing through his veins. 

_ Had _ he done something to make his daughter upset?  _ Had _ it been those nights coming home late and spending hours into the night filling out endless reports caused her to act that way in school? Was it his fault after all? 

“I am upset at school.” Becca said. 

A wave of relief overtook him. Relief that it wasn't his fault his daughter was so upset. 

Relief that she didn't resent him. 

”The first day I sat next to a girl and a boy at one of the tables. Some other girls were sitting across from us too. We were coloring our families and I said I was done with mine and they asked why I only drew you and me and not a mommy too. I said I didn't have a mommy and they said I was weird and that everyone has a mommy. I got sad and moved away. I don't like them anymore. They're mean. I don't want to be their friend.” She explained through broken sobs and sniffles. 

Bucky sighed, wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace. ”Becks, why didn't you tell me?” 

”I didn't want them to think I was a crybaby. They already think I'm weird.” 

”You are not weird. There isn't anything wrong with you. They are the ones who are wrong.” Bucky whispered, stroking her hair soothingly as she leaned against him, rubbing her eyes. 

”And now you're mad at Ms. (Y/N). I don't want her to be mad at me either. She's nice to me.” Becca said. 

The realization hit him like a freight train. He had raised his voice at (Y/N) for no reason. She was right all along about something being wrong with his daughter. 

”Don't worry about that right now. Let's just calm down and eat our spaghetti ok, ” He paused for a moment, suddenly smelling a strong burning from the stove. ”Damn it! I forgot about the damn food!” 

Becca giggled as Bucky ran off, quickly moving the smoking pot off of the burner, wincing as a droplet of boiling water dripped onto his knuckles. 

He sighed loudly, looking down at the charred noodles. 

”How does pizza sound?” He called. 

Becca smiled widely. ”Yay!” 

Bucky slipped his phone out of his pocket, unable to withhold his own smile at his daughter's excitement. 

Before he called the pizza place though, he took the time to send Ms. Jones a text. 

He was going to be home tomorrow a little later than usual. 

__________________________________

A peaceful silence had overtaken the classroom. Only the soft clinking of the other teacher's heels as they made their way down the hallway and the faint whirring of the rotating fan on the corner of her desk could be heard. 

(Y/N) glided the edge of her pen across each line of her student's work, scanning for any errors in the sloppy sentences they had written. The corners of the pages lifted slightly with each gust of the fans air in their direction, floating back down as it continued its rotation. 

The quiet of the school in the late hours of the afternoon brought a welcome escape from the bustling city streets outside of her apartment. The silence that surrounded her in the time she spent in the room long after the children had left provided a comforting haven for her to review her student's progress, her heart swelling with pride at their growth. 

She stuck a golden star at the top of the paper, smiling at the perfectly written sentences before her. Not a misspelled word or misused punctuation. A perfect paper. 

Pulling a bright blue sticky note from beside her, she went to write the name of the student to remind her to give them a candy on Monday,pausing as she read the name. 

Rebecca Barnes. Written in neat print with clearly dull pencil lead. Well, neat for a five-year-old at least. 

The memory of the girl's father staring her down with furious blue eyes, his voice rising with every word he spoke to her when all she was trying to do was help. 

Perhaps she had gone about it the wrong way. Maybe she shouldn't have gone straight to asking about their home life but she couldn't rule out any possibility. Maybe it would have been best to ease into the subject. Still, that was no excuse to act the way he did. 

A knock echoed through the classroom, pulling her from her thoughts. She quickly jotted down Becca’s name before making her way to the door. 

Blue eyes met hers as she opened the door, a familiar chill running down her spine as she stepped back a few paces, creating a more comfortable distance between them. 

”Mr. Barnes?” She asked, surprised. 

Bucky stood in the doorway, a small grocery bag in hand. ”Um...I’m here to apologize for the way I acted yesterday. I spoke to Becca and she explained the whole situation.” 

”Which is?” (Y/N) asked coldly, trying not to meet his gaze. 

”She lied. Something has been going on. At school I mean. The other children haven't been too kind to her about not having a mother.” He replied, his voice catching a bit at the word  _ mother _ . 

He swallowed slightly, licking his lips. ”I brought you this.” 

Bucky reached into the bag, pulling out a single red apple, holding it out for her to grab.

”An apple ?” (Y/N) asked, barely able to contain her laughter at the gift. 

”Teachers...like those don't they?” He asked, bouncing back and forth awkwardly on the balls of his feet. 

”I guess I do but it's just a strange thing to gift someone.” 

”Listen, I'm not really used to this.” 

”Apologizing for your mistakes or giving gifts?” 

”The gift part.” 

A silence fell between them. Their eyes met once more but (Y/N) quickly looked away, shifting her focus to the apple in her hands. 

”Your apology apple has a bruise on it.” She said, pointing at a spot on the fruit. 

”What? I checked to make sure I got a good one! I'm so sorry!” Bucky exclaimed, stepping forward to look at the spot she was pointing at. 

(Y/N) lifted her finger, revealing the perfect red apple below it, not a spot in sight. ”I’m just messing with you. But it's nice that you care so much.” 

Bucky let out a sigh of relief, as (Y/N) laughed softly. The sound of her laughter caused his heart to clench in a way it hadn't in years. 

”I’ll make sure I speak to the kids about being kind to one another and explain how every family isn't the same,” (Y/N) said, writing herself a note on the sticky note where Becca’s name resided. ”I should get back to grading.” 

”Yeah you should.” Bucky replied, his heart racing as she brushed past to open the door for him. 

He winced at his own words, rubbing the back of his neck as he walked out toward the exit. 

”Yeah you should.” He repeated quietly, mocking his own awkwardness as he strolled down the hallway, barely loud enough for (Y/N) to hear. 

She smiled as she sat back down at her desk, placing the apple onto the stack of work she had finished grading. 

She continued to write the name of each and every perfect grade, the blue of the sticky note seeming to hold a new significance, causing her mind to wander off with each stroke of her pen. 

It was almost the same color as his eyes. 


	4. Chapter 4

A gentle breeze swept through the air, providing small moments of relief from the blistering heat of the afternoon sun. 

It wasn't entirely uncommon to have days where the sun seemed to beam its light a bit heavier down on the city, especially in the weeks before the leaves would begin to fall from the trees before recreating themselves in vivid green in the spring. 

Days like these were few and far between but they made all the difference in the world. It was days like these Bucky wished he could freeze time forever, never having to face another melancholy or worrisome moment ever again. 

Becca sat on a swing seat, the metal bars holding it up slowly becoming tainted with rust, after all, it had been there for years. 

Bucky didn't flinch at the feel of the rust under his fingers as he pulled the swing back to give her a flying start nor did the sweat that had built up on his face after their game of tag. 

The happy giggles of his daughter made it all worth it. They always made everything worth it. 

Sitting down on one of the park's wooden benches, he let her play alone for a while as he rested. Smiling and waving back at her whenever she passed by him, running off to whatever playground equipment she wanted to play on next. 

Sore joints , he thought as he stretched, be  really need to get to the gym more often . 

Becca chatted away with another little girl on the swings beside her, finally breaking out of her usual shyness. Even at school, she had begun to talk to the other children again, telling him all about her new playmates as she did her homework in the evenings.

Bucky was grateful that (Y/N) had her talk with the children. After the day he visited her, Becca instantly began to open up once more as the other students profusely apologized to her. 

He hadn't quite been able to stop thinking about his encounters with the teacher. The most mundane things seemed to cause his mind to wander toward her. Even now as he sat watching the children play he wondered what she was doing. 

Was she getting lunch from her favorite deli downtown? Was she out with friends perhaps? Or did she prefer to spend her weekends off at home, sleeping in late and watching television? 

It was strange how she had engulfed every inch of his mind and seemed to linger everywhere he went from the moment he locked eyes with hers for the first time at that conference, curiosity and infatuation brimming behind annoyance as she spoke to him. 

Loud popping shook him from his thoughts, causing him to look in the direction of the disturbance. 

A bicycle raced down the top of a hill a few blocks away, it's chain clanking loudly as it slipped out of place. The rider swiveled a bit, grasping the brand to no avail, completely unaware of the issue beneath them. 

Bucky shot up from his seat, running over to grasp the front of the handlebars as the rider skidded their feet against the pavement to stop themselves. 

The front-wheel clashed with his leg as the bike came to a halt, it's rider getting pushed forward a bit at the quick deceleration. 

”We just keep meeting don't we?” The rider said, breathlessly. 

Bucky looked up at the rider's face, (Y/N)’s bright smile sending a chill up his spine as she unmounted her bike. 

”Hey, uh, what are you doing here?” He asked, wincing slightly at his own words shortly after. Why could he barely get a sentence out without sounding like an idiot? 

She just laughed, bending down to place the chain back into its rightful place, the sun bathing her sweat covered skin in a warm glow. ”Contrary to popular belief, teachers have a life outside of the school.” 

”Sorry I-” Bucky began, rubbing the back of his neck. 

” It's ok. I know what you meant. I like to take a ride around the park on the weekends. Clear my head, you know?” (Y/N) said. 

A gust of wind blew past, causing the wisps of hair that had come loose from her ponytail to sway in the breeze. She pushed one of the longer strands behind her ear, the edge of her tank top lifting ever so slightly as she raised her arm. 

Had she always been this beautiful? Bucky had never really paid much attention to her looks, they're first encounter he was too furious and the second he could barely meet her eyes. 

She must have noticed his staring, coughing lightly to grab his attention back to her eyes that twinkled with an emotion akin to shyness. ”Thank you for stopping me. I didn't even notice the chain popped off.” 

”It was no problem. Wouldn't want you getting hurt, would we?” He replied, trying his best to smile without looking deranged. 

The bitter patter of a child running on the concrete behind them drew their attention away, leaving just lingering glances between them as they watched Becca racing up the hill to meet them. 

”Ms. (Y/N)!” Becca called, giving her a tight hug. 

”Hi Becca. How are you today?” (Y/N) asked, bending down to her height with a kind smile. 

Bucky’s heart leaped at her smile, even when it wasn't directed at him. It was silly, he knew, but he hoped she’d smile at him like that one day. 

Becca pointed toward the playground. ”Daddy and I have been playing all day.” 

(Y/N) looked up at him, that stunning grin still lingering on her lips. ”I'm sure you're having so much fun.” 

After a few moments of chatter between the two, (Y/N) rose back to her regular height before hopping back onto her bike, making sure to check the chain as she did so. 

”Well, it was nice seeing you. I'll see you on Monday Becca. I really think you're going to like this week's lesson, but I have to go home to make sure everything is ready.” (Y/N) explained. 

She looked over at Bucky, whose eyes hadn't left her from the moment she started talking to his daughter in her sweet, comforting voice. ”See you soon.” 

And just like that she was gone, peddling off into the distance. 

Becca pulled on the edge of Bucky’s shorts. ”Can you push me on the swing some more?” 

Bucky tore his eyes away from (Y/N)s figure, becoming smaller and smaller by the second. 

”Of course.” He said, scooping up a giggling Becca into his arms before making his way to the swing set.

Her words lingered in the back of his mind, the hot sun still beaming down onto the city with brutal force. 

_ See you soon _ . 

__________________________________

The sound of pen brushing against paper echoed throughout the tiny apartment, pictures and drawing of animals exotic and not scattered across the sofa. 

(Y/N) leaned over the coffee table, endlessly adding little notes and fun facts for each animal to her lesson plan as she came across them on the internet, her laptop wobbling on her knees. 

The children would adore this lesson, just as they had the colorful posters of animals she had on her classroom wall. It would be a welcome break from learning their numbers and letters like they had done for months. She could tell they were getting tired of it. 

A glimpse of a long-forgotten memory entered her mind as she combed through the endless amounts of factoids that littered the web. 

She leaned close against a glass wall. She was much younger then, perhaps seven or eight, but hungry to catch a glimpse of whatever animal lies behind the cool, see-through wall before her.

Her mother and father sat on a bench a few feet away, her mother leaning her head against her father's shoulder as (Y/N) jumped up and down gleefully as a lion emerged from its den. 

Memories of times like those we're always a welcome thought to (Y/N). A happy moment with her family, long before they had passed away. 

She scribbled the words  _ zoo field trip  _ into her lesson plan. 

The children would like that, she knew, but deep down it was more of a want she had for herself. Might as well engrain it into her lesson. Kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. 

Her eyelids weighed heavy, the bright screen of her laptop becoming more and more blurry with each passing second, sleep luring her away until she drifted away right there on the couch as she placed her computer on the coffee table. 

That night she dreams of a blue-eyed lion, saving its mate from toppling down a hill. 


	5. Chapter 5

A cheetah spirited across the whiteboard, it's body phasing in and out of occasional blurriness as the old projector played the tape. 

The children sat on the floor, the light from the video playing before them shining down on their astonished little faces as the cheetah raced out of frame. Some made small noises of frustration as the narrator moved on to talk about elephants, clearly a less interesting animal but nonetheless intriguing to the children as they continued to watch with wide eyes.

(Y/N) smiled at the giggles that filled the classroom as the elephant aimed its trunk at the camera, spraying it with water. 

The hours she had spent curating the week's lesson plan had been well worth it. The children seemed to enjoy learning about the animals she had spent hours upon hours researching herself, the wall beside her classroom now covered with drawing and lions, tigers, and any other animal imaginable. 

”Okay everyone. We only have about five minutes until the bell rings so everyone please make sure your tables are nice and clean, ” She said as soon as the video ended, holding back a smile as the children ran to grab their bags and throw away any stray juice boxes. ”Make sure you get a good night sleep so your all ready for our trip tomorrow.” 

The ringing of the bell caused the children to run to the door, some waving goodbye and others simply passing (Y/N) by as they raced to their bus. 

She stepped back into her classroom, practically running to her desk to grab the small stack of permission slips the students had had their parents sign the night before. 

The clinking of heels echoed throughout the hallway almost as soon as they had cleared. 

”Ms. Maximoff, ” (Y/N) called, hurriedly stumbling her way to the door. ”Do you have a moment?” 

Ms. Maximoff stopped in her tracks, making her way to where (Y/N) stood, examining the brightly colored drawing that hid the wall behind them almost completely. ”Very nice drawings! The children must be loving this lesson.” 

”Thats what I wanted to talk to you about. I know this is so last minute but I was just able to call the zoo last night to make sure they would take us. I had the children sign slips and everything. I just need your approval.” (Y/N) explained. 

”(Y/N) this is  _ extremely _ last minute.” Ms. Maximoff replied, crossing her arms. 

”I know. I'm so sorry. I have everything in order. I wasn't able to tell you until now.” (Y/N) said, clutching the papers in her hand a bit tighter. 

”Do you have any chaperones?” 

”Chaperones, ma’am?”

”You have a relatively large class. I can't let you go without an acceptable student to chaperone ratio.” 

”Can’t anyone else come along? How about Ms. Romanoff?” 

”I’m sorry. Like you said this is very last minute. Everyone has their lesson plans ready to be taught. I won't ask them to change plans so quickly.” Ms. Maximoff explained sadly. ”I have to get home. I'm sorry, (Y/N)” 

(Y/N) felt her heart constrict in her chest. She had been so close. The children needed this trip.  _ She _ needed this trip. 

The smiling face of a lion caught her eye as she stepped out into the hallway, running her fingers through her hair. It's brightly colored body tugged at her heartsrings. 

Then she notices something that flipped a switch in her brain, causing a smile to tug at the corner of her lips and an idea to form in her mind. 

The lion had blue eyes. 

”Ms. Maximoff! If I can get another chaperone right now, will you let us go?” She called to the other woman who was already halfway down the hall. 

Ms. Maximoff furrowed her brows. ”I would.” 

(Y/N) tugged her phone from her back pocket, scrolling through her contacts before tapping on the screen. 

”Mr. Barnes this is (Y/N). Remember when you said if I needed something to give you a call?”   
  
__________________________________  
  


The ticking of the office clock seemed to be the only breakthrough in the near-deafening silence of the building, it's unusually loud hands clicking consistently at the passing of each second. 

Perhaps it wasn't even that loud at all. Maybe it was the silence that fooled Bucky's ears into believing it to be that way. Even the opening and closing of doors much too far away from him to possibly hear at all seemed naturally noisy. 

Bucky clicked his pen, a sort of anxious habit he had developed over the years, as he stared at the clock in between each sentence he typed out on the computer before him. 

Only ten more minutes and he would be able to leave this place. Ten more minutes until he could see Becca. 

Ten more minutes until he could see  _ her _ . 

It was silly, he knew, how his heart nearly leaped out of his chest when (Y/N) had called him the night before. 

The feeling had quickly been overtaken by worry, his mind formulating the worst as always. Still, it was wonderful while it lasted. 

Worry that something had happened to his daughter always persisted in any call he received from the school. The father in him always worried for Becca. 

A zoo trip was a welcome surprise, but of course, he would have jumped on any opportunity to leave work early. From the moment he sat down at his desk all he could think about was being able to leave.

(Y/N) hadn't left his mind either. In fact, she had persisted in the back of his mind ever since that day in the park. 

_ See you soon.  _ Those words seemed to replay like a record in his memory. 

What did she mean by those words? Was he overthinking things? Did she even say them at all or was it all an imagination, a hope that she thought of him just like he thought of her now? 

A relieved sigh escaped Bucky's lips as the clock struck two, his coworkers looking up at him at the sudden movement in the silent room as he walked out the door. 

The drive to the zoo seemed eerily quick. Perhaps it was the excitement that he hadn't realized he held until he pulled into a parking spot beside a big yellow school bus that sped up the trip. 

His heartbeat increased a bit as he heard (Y/N) voice, her cheery nature drawing him toward her as he stepped out of his car. 

Becca raced toward him, her brown paper lunch bag flailing wildly as she tossed her arms around his waist as he reached the bus doors, the rest of the children pouring out in a single file line.

(Y/N) emerged last, her bright blue clipboard in the crook of her arm. ”Thank you so much for coming. I didn't know who else to call.” 

”It's no problem. Guess we can call us even.” Bucky replied, walking beside her as they watched Becca run off to catch up with her friends following one of the zookeeper's holding up a bright orange  _ This Way  _ sign. 

Bucky watched as (Y/N)’s eyes traveled across the various enclosures, a strange hint of sadness looming behind her eyes as the zookeeper stopped before the lions for the children to see. 

”Everything ok?” He asked concerned, an urge to comfort her from whatever was upsetting her overtaking him. 

(Y/N) glanced over at him, forcing a smile. ”Oh, it's nothing. Just not quite like I remembered. ”

”You've been here before?” Bucky asked. 

”A long time ago.” She replied. ”You?” 

Bucky felt his breath catch as she wrapped her fingers around his wrist to pull him forward, signaling that the group was moving. ”Um, yes, I used to live here.” 

”The zoo? Wow, you must have some interesting stories.” (Y/N) joked. 

”No, I mean I used to live on this side of town, ” Bucky replied. ”I haven't been back here in years.” 

(Y/N) gave him a confused look. ”Why?” 

”Bad memories.” He said, opening the door for her as they approached one of the buildings, relishing the cool air as they stepped inside. 

”You're such a gentleman, Mr. Barnes. I swoon.” (Y/N) said, causing Bucky to nearly trip over his own feet. 

”Thank you. You know you don't need to call me that. Bucky is fine.” He replied, regaining his composure as the children shuffled through the door to watch the film the zoo had prepared for them. 

(Y/N) sat on the bench beside the door, patting beside her. ”Well,  _ Bucky _ , we have some time to sit and relax while the kids are in there.” 

He sat beside her, goosebumps rising on his skin as his hand brushed against hers. 

”Pretty, don't you think?” She said, gesturing to the murals of the savannah painted on the walls. ”Don't see things like this too often.” 

”I mean if you like that kind of stuff, ” Bucky replied. ”That lion looks like it's watching me. Not the biggest fan of that.” 

(Y/N) laughed softly, the sound pulling a grin from his own lips. 

She pointed at one of the lions, it's teeth bared in a triumphant roar. ”He does seem kind of menacing, but I'm sure he's a softie deep down. The kids don't seem to be bothered by it.” 

”You're really good with them, ” Bucky said. ”The kids, I mean.” 

”Are you insinuating I'm not good with lions too? I'll have you know I am very good with them as well, ” She joked, playfully swatting him on the shoulder. ”But thank you. They don't know it but I want the best for every one of them.” 

A silence hung between them. Not at all awkward or uncomfortable, but more comforting, as if each other's presence was something that they had become accustomed to their whole lives. 

”You know, my parents took me here when I was little. Now that they're gone I guess I wanted to find a way to get back here again. Show the kids what I saw when I was their age. Maybe it would give them the same memories. The happy ones.” (Y/N) said finally, starting off at the roaring lion. 

She glanced over at him for a moment before running her hands through her hair. ”I'm sorry. I don't know why I felt like I had to say that.” 

Bucky examined her face, contemplating how to respond. ”I think you've done everything right. The kids seem happy. They'll appreciate you doing this for them.” 

”I sure hope so, ” She said, turning to face him. She scanned his face for a moment before their eyes met. ”Has anyone ever told you your eyes look like an ocean?” 

Bucky’s heart skipped a beat. ”No. Never.” 

”Well, they do.” (Y/N) said with a soft smile, the corners of her lips lifting up ever so slightly. 

Time seemed to pause for a moment, as he played back and forth between her lips and her eyes, which appeared to do the same to his. 

A pull forward, perhaps gravity or something completely unknown drew him to her. A breath of air escaped his lips as he inched nearer, filled with sudden courage he didn't know he had. 

The brush of her lips against his and then-

”Daddy! Ms. (Y/N)! Look at these toys they gave us!” 

(Y/N) yanked her head backward at the sound of Becca’s voice, nearly hitting the wall behind her as she did so. She stood up from the bench awkwardly as the rest of the children poured from the room, holding up their animal-shaped toys for her to see. 

The rest of the trip was silent, (Y/N) didn't so much as glance in his direction even when they stopped to look at the animals that lounged in the bright sunlight. 

Becca gave him a tight hug, handing him her toy to take home while she was back at school. (Y/N) did look his way then, only to turn her head away when she noticed him staring. 

Bucky leaned his head against the seat of his car, closing his eyes tightly to try and clear his mind. He looked into his rearview mirror, letting a small huff escape him as he looked at his reflection. 

She was right. His eyes  _ did _ look a bit like the ocean. 


	6. Chapter 6

”Becca, come on let's go or we're going to be late!” 

Bucky glanced down at his watch, shaking his head slightly as he heard his daughter's footsteps in the distance. He grabbed her bag, slipping her freshly cleaned tap shoes inside before zipping it back up, throwing it over his shoulder. 

”Coming!” Becca called, her bedroom door slamming closed as her footsteps grew closer. ”I couldn't find my pink pajamas to bring to Julie's house tonight. I had to bring the blue ones.” 

Bucky couldn't help but grin at his daughter's pouting face. ”I think they'll be ok. You're only staying there one night anyways. We really have to go.” 

Becca followed him out to the car, hopping onto her booster seat and reaching for her bag out of Bucky’s hands as he buckled her in. 

Anxiety flooded his veins as he pulled onto the main road, looking back almost every minute to make sure Becca was still strapped securely in her seat. 

He knew it would seem silly to anyone else, but he couldn't take any chances. Everything was always fine until it wasn't. He knew that first hand. 

He'd never make a mistake as he had with  _ her _ all those years ago. Not again. 

His mind began to wander to a ride in an ambulance. The beeping of heart monsters and pain in his shoulder. Becca in a black dress, not completely understanding but still stricken with grief. 

A gravestone.   


Dottie Barnes. Loving mother and wife. 

”Daddy?” 

Becca's voice shook him from his thoughts. 

”Yes, baby?” He asked, looking in the rearview mirror to glance at her. 

”Are you and Ms. (Y/N) gonna get married?” She asked, zipping and unzipping her bag. 

Bucky felt his heart skip a beat as he seemingly choked on the air. ”What? Why would you ask that?” 

”You  _ love _ her. I saw you and her almost kiss like the prince and princess in my books. That means you love her.” Becca replied matter-of-factly. 

Bucky stumbled over his words, trying to form a coherent response as the beating of his heart at the memory of (Y/N) lips brushing against his. ”I, uh, didn't know you saw that.” 

”It's ok, Daddy. I won't tell anyone you love her. I'm not a tattletale.” Becca said, looking out the window. 

”I never said I  _ loved _ her. I mean she's beautiful and kind and smart but I don't know her all that well and you can't rush into something like that-” Bucky began, stopping after a moment when he remembered she was much too young to understand. 

He pulled into a parking spot right in front of the dance studios' doors. ”Ms. (Y/N) is very nice and I like seeing her when I can.” 

”Ok, Daddy.” Becca said, jumping out of her seat once he had unbuckled her. 

Bucky watched her skip through the doors, disappearing out of his line of sight as she entered. 

Traffic began to pile up rapidly as he made his way home, his fingers tapping on the steering wheel as he stopped behind the lineup of vehicles before him. 

He began to fumble with the radio dials, searching for a station suitable enough for him to distract himself with, settling for one blasting the latest chart-toppers. The music filled the car, drowning out the thoughts that bounced around inside his brain. 

_ Work needs to be done. Reports are due tomorrow. Did Becca pack her toothbrush? Did he ask Ms. Jones to babysit this week?  _

The cars in front of him inched forward at an agonizingly slow pace. A few vehicles honked their horns in frustration, angrily gesturing at the pile up before them. 

Bucky leaned his head back against the headrest, looking out the window beside him. 

A man stepped out of a flower shop, a large bouquet of roses in his arms as he made his way down the street. The smile on the man's face as he pulled his phone out of his pocket to make a call told wonders. 

Perhaps it was a gift for someone. His lover perhaps. Bucky hoped whoever they were for would like them. 

Did (Y/N) like flowers? Would she leap for joy and smile brightly at him if he gifted her with a bouquet just like the one the man carried? Or did she prefer a different type of flower? Maybe- 

A near-deafening horn of the vehicle behind him caused him to jump, his instincts seemingly overtaking his movements as his foot slammed down on the gas. 

The car jolted forward a few feet, rapidly nearing a car parked at the red light ahead. Coming to his senses, he slammed on the breaks, the front end of his car mere inches away from the car parked at the light. 

His heartfelt as if it was about to burst as his body was yanked backward against the seat at the sudden halt. Tiny exhales escaped his lips, his chest tightening as a rush of painful images flooded his mind. 

_ His body jolting forward, his head hitting the wheel. The painful pull of his seatbelt against his shoulder. Dottie’s body hurling forward. A scream then silence.  _

Bucky pulled off the road, parking in the grass right off the side of the freeway as he listened to the whoosh of cars passing by on the now traffic-free road. 

He ran his fingers through his hair, resting his forehead on the wheel as he attempted to steady his breathing. An upbeat pop song began to play on the radio, filling his ears with its fast pace guitar and high pitched vocals. 

His mind screamed for him to get out of there, to get some fresh air and clear his mind. He needed to be anywhere but in that damn car.

A bar sat on the other side of the road, it's bright neon sign flickering slightly. Perfect. 

He waited for the road to clear, sprinting across as quickly as he could, the clenching in his chest subsiding the farther he went. 

The air conditioning seemed to wash away his sweat as he stepped inside the bar, a few of its patrons turning their heads toward him for a moment before returning to their chatter. 

Bucky sat on one of the stools at the bar, the tips of his fingers fiddling with the drink menu as he tried to clear his mind. 

_ Focus on the menu _ , he told himself.  _ Order a few shots and try to forget.  _

So he did. The slight burn of the whiskey against his throat was a welcome distraction from the world. 

He wasn't sure how many he ordered nor how many he ended up drinking, but it didn't matter. 

He was forgetting, if even just for a moment. 

”We just keep meeting, don't we? If I didn't know any better I’d say you were following me.” A voice said as he downed the last shot glass, wincing a bit at the sting in his throat. 

Bucky turned around, his blurred vision adjusting for a moment as it focused on the person taking a seat at the stool beside him. 

”(Y/N)?” He asked, despite seeing her so clearly now. 

”Wow, I'm surprised you are able to recognize me. After all those shots I thought your brain would be trashed.” (Y/N) replied with a soft chuckle, causing his mind to clear for just a moment at the familiar sound. 

”I have a high tolerance.” He replied.

She grinned as she gestured toward the bartender, mouthing the word  _ water _ . ”Yeah. I can see that, but I think you've had enough for tonight.” 

”I’m alright, ” Bucky said, his eyes watching her stick a straw into the glasses of water the bartender placed before them. ”I have nowhere to be. Becca is at a friend's house.” 

(Y/N)’s eyes scanned his face. ”Somethings wrong.” 

He looked down at his glass, swirling his straw around and watching the ice spin around in the water. ”I, uh, needed some air. Some, uh, bad memories kept bugging me.” 

Their eyes met for a moment before she looked away, gesturing toward his glass. ”Drink some. You need it.” 

Bucky obliged, the coldness of the water seeming to clear his mind a bit. 

”Thank you,” He mumbled. ”For ordering the water I mean.” 

(Y/N) smiled, causing his heart to clench once more. Not like it had in the car.

No, this was different. He never wanted this feeling to end. 

” I hope you have a designated driver because I honestly don't think you should be on the roads.” (Y/N) said jokingly. 

Bucky let out a small chuckle. ”You're not going to let me go alone, are you?” 

”Nope. Give me your address. I'll drive you home.” She replied, pulling out her phone to type it into her GPS. 

”My car is still across the road.” Bucky said as he followed her out into the parking lot. 

”I'll call a tow truck. Don't worry about it. You'll have it by morning.” She replied, opening the passenger side door, giggling a bit as he wobbly entered and fumbled around with the seatbelt. 

Most of the ride was spent in silence, the glow of the streetlights flowing through the windows. 

Bucky glanced over at (Y/N), the side of her face illuminated by the glow as she focused on the road, bobbing her head slightly to the song coming from the radio. He didn't dare say anything, scared that if he spoke he would disturb her. 

The clench in his heart returned as he gazed at her. Perhaps, if he was still enough, it would linger for just a bit longer than it had before. 

Perhaps he could get it to stay forever. 

”Here we are. Home sweet home.” (Y/N) said as the car came to a halt. 

Bucky sighed softly. How silly of him to think he could keep that feeling for so long. Nothing good lasts forever. 

He unbuckled the seatbelt, his fingers fumbling clumsily. 

As his hands brushed against the cold metal of the door handle his mind screamed for him to stay. Just for a moment longer. 

Bucky turned around, letting his eyes meet hers as he did so. 

A soft smile crept upon (Y/N)’s face after a moment. ”You ok?” 

Maybe it was the liquor still coursing through his bloodstream. Maybe it was the way her lips moved with the soft, kind words she spoke. Maybe it was gravity pulling him toward her. 

Whatever it was, he thanked it for drawing him in. He thanked it for the blessing of his lips on hers. He thanked it for the clench in his chest that sent a shock throughout his entire being. 

He felt her lips move alongside his, her fingers trailing up his neck to rest in his hair for just a moment. 

It was (Y/N) who pulled away, her eyes fluttering open as a soft smile crept up her cheeks. ”I was wondering how long it would take you to do that.” 

”Should have done it sooner, ” Bucky replied. ”If I wasn't such a coward I would have been able to do it at the zoo.”

They let the silence between them linger for a moment, simply enjoying each other's presence and the tingling still fluttering in their lips. 

”I should go. I have to finish up this week's lesson plan. Wouldn't want the kids to have any work to do.” (Y/N) said, placing her hands back on the wheel. 

Bucky grinned, reaching for the door handle once more, this time stepping out of the car. ”Goodnight.” 

”Goodnight,  _ Bucky _ .” (Y/N) said, smiling at the grin that rose on his face at the emphasis of his name, before driving off. 

He watched as she disappeared into the darkness, his lips tingling and his heart beating wildly. The clenching he felt in his heart was now more intense than ever. 

Perhaps next week he would pick up Becca from school himself. And maybe, he would bring (Y/N) some flowers. 


	7. Chapter 7

Silence overtook the classroom. Nothing but the faint scratch of pen gliding against paper and the occasional rustling of one of the children on their mats could be heard; the dim glow of the lamp sat on the corner of (Y/N)s desk the only beacon of light in the otherwise dark room. 

The colorful construction paper projects on her desk rustled slightly as she sorted through them, the tackiness of not quite dry glue stuck to her fingers in areas where the student who made it couldn't quite seem to gauge how much glue was too much. 

She stamped a small smiley face in the corner of one of the projects, smiling slightly at how neatly the child had placed they're slightly unevenly cut shapes onto the bright paper. The name of each shape was written in shaky print above them, the child clearly having tried very very hard to make sure they wrote each letter correctly. 

A series of shuffles came from the corner of the room, causing (Y/N) to look up from her desk to examine the source of the noise. Normally she wouldn't have thought too much of it, but this shuffling of one of the mats against the floor was much louder than usual. It would be a pain if it woke the other children. 

The rustling continued as she made her way over to the child making the noise, watching as they turned to face her. 

A flicker of bright blue shone through the darkness, causing (Y/N) to instantly identify who was making such a ruckus. 

The blue disappeared as she knelt down beside the mat, the child evidently squeezing their eyes shut in mock sleep. 

”Becca. I know you're not sleeping.” (Y/N) whispered, careful not to disturb the other children. 

Becca opened her eyes in defeat. ”I can't. I'm not tired.” 

The sudden loudness of her voice caused one of the  children napping peacefully beside her to stir a bit. 

(Y/N) winced slightly, placing her finger over her lip. ”Shhh. It's nap time, remember?” 

”Oh yeah.” Becca whispered, placing her own finger over her mouth. ”I don't want it to be nap time anymore. I can't sleep.” 

” It's ok. Let's see.” (Y/N) said, looking around the room for a moment. 

The children didn't seem to be bothered much by Becca’s sudden outburst. She supposed it wouldn't be too much of a big deal to let her get up. 

”How about you come sit with me at my desk for a bit?” She whispered. 

Becca nodded, holding out her hand so (Y/N) could help her stand up. 

The pair tiptoed across the room, careful of the tiny fingers and feet of the sleeping children around them. A few stirred as they walked past, only to flop over onto their side to continue resting. 

(Y/N) gently placed another chair beside her desk, cautious not to let the legs scrape against the floor as she did so. ”Here. You can help me with the projects. Just put them in this pile when I hand them to you, okay?” 

Becca nodded, fiddling with the bright blue stapler that sat on the corner of the desk. 

”My daddy likes this color.” She said, pointing to the red piece of construction paper sitting on the desk. ”He always wears a tie that color when it's clean.” 

A soft tingling flooded (Y/N)’s lips at the mention of the girl's father, flashes of their encounter just a few days before invading her mind. ”Oh.” 

”Yeah. It's his favorite.” Becca replied, her voice still in a hushed whisper. ”He says he likes you too.” 

”He...did?” 

”Yeah, but he says it's not good to rush into things. But he says you're pretty and I think that means he does love you like he told me he didn't. The prince in my book calls the princess pretty and they're in love.” 

The little girl continued her chatter, her whispered words flying a mile a minute as (Y/N) struggled to keep her composure. 

Becca pressed the projects into a lopsided stack, completely unaware of how her words had affected her teacher. 

”I, uh, think naptime is over now.” (Y/N) murmured, glancing at the clock on the wall. 

The brightness of the light that flooded the classroom awoke the sleeping children. (Y/N)’s fingers lingered on the switch for a moment as she tried to shake away the feeling of her heart pounding in her chest. 

She needed to focus on her work, at least for the next few hours. Then, perhaps, she’d let herself indulge in that feeling. 

Even if it was for just a few moments. 

__________________________________

”Is there something I can help you with, sir?” 

Bucky looked up from the dozens of bouquets in front of him, shifted anxiously on the balls of his feet as he examined each and every flower, visibly overwhelmed at the sheer variety before him.

”I, um, yes.” He stuttered. ”I'm looking for some flowers. I'm not sure what kind she’ll like” 

The worker smiled at him. ”Well you've come to the right place. What kind of message are you trying to send to her with the flowers?” 

He paused for a moment as he looked around the shop, the floral arrangements around him flooding almost every one of his senses. 

What message was he trying to send (Y/N)? 

_ Hey, I know we kissed once and I haven't bothered to call you because I'm afraid you won't want me. Or maybe, I really think you're amazing and would like to finally ask you out. Sorry, I haven't spoken to you in days, that's my bad.  _

”I just want to ask her out to dinner. Do you have something for that?” He asked after what felt like forever. 

”Well, since you don't know what kind of flowers she likes, how about we do an assorted bouquet? Maybe some assorted wildflowers?” The worker replied, gesturing toward a bouquet of various colorful wildflowers. 

”Yeah, give me that, please.” Bucky said, nodding  slightly as he dug into his wallet. 

The worker handed him the bouquet, popping open the cash register to hand Bucky his change. 

”Hope she likes them. Have a great day.” She said, raising her hand in farewell as he headed out the door. 

Bucky ran his free hand through his hair, looking down at the colorful array of flowers in his hand as he opened his car door. He placed them on the passenger seat, careful not to squish any of the brightly colored wildflowers. 

The bright blue ribbon holding the bouquet together hung over the side of the seat, brushing against the floor with each turn he made. He resisted the urge to reach across the consul and place it back onto the black leather of the seat, his eyes darting to the silk ribbons edge whenever he had a chance. 

_ Stop being so nervous,  _ he told himself _. Focus on the road. (Y/N) won't notice if there's a bit of dust on the ribbon. Pull yourself together.  _

Still, his mind raced. The chance that he had waited too long, that she had moved on, that she didn't think the kiss meant anything all plagued his thoughts as she drew nearer to the school. 

His doubt screamed for him to turn around. He should just go home to Becca and tell Ms. Jones there was a change of plans. 

That he should just throw the flowers out the window. She wouldn't want them. 

Before he could even further consider what his mind yelled for him to do, he was pulling into the school parking lot. 

His fingers brushed against the flowers, the softness of their petals kissing his hand as he admired them. 

Maybe his subconscious was right. Maybe it was too late. Maybe he should just drive off once more. Maybe it was still too soon to move on. 

Bucky screwed his eyes shut. The memory of (Y/N)’s fingers gently brushing through his hair as their lips met filled his mind, sending a shiver down his spine. 

That was all he needed. 

He wrapped his fingers around the bouquet, letting the doubt in his mind subside as he pushed open the school's doors. 

The sound of his shoes brushing across the empty hallway was all that could be heard as he turned the corner, (Y/N)’s classroom suddenly right before his eyes. 

He knocked as his fingers wrapped a bit tighter around the flowers. If she hadn't opened the door just seconds after, he would have thought he had knocked a bit too quietly. 

”Bucky, ” She said, her eyes shifting between his anxious expression to the flowers in his hands. ”I didn't know you were coming. Is everything okay?” 

Bucky took in a deep breath, the sight of her face sending a sudden rush of adrenaline through his veins. ”I know and I'm sorry I haven't come sooner. I should have called you.” 

”Is everything okay? You look a little sweaty.” She joked, gesturing to his hands which were visibly damp from how tightly he gripped the bouquet. 

”These are for you. They're wildflowers.” He said, holding them out for her to grab. 

”Wildflowers?” She replied, something he couldn't quite place flashing in her eyes. 

”Do you like them? I didn't know what to get.” 

”I...love them actually.” 

”That's great. You look very beautiful today.” 

”As opposed to every other day.” 

”Uh, no, um, I mean you look beautiful every time I see you and I'm sure you look beautiful every other time too.” 

(Y/N) giggled slightly as he stumbled over his words. ”I'm kidding.” 

Bucky relaxed a bit, the sound of her laugh sending a chill up his spine. ”You really do though. I'm being serious.” 

(Y/N) smiled slightly, looking down at the flowers in her hand for a moment. ”If I didn't know any better I'd say you were flirting with me.” 

”I am.” 

(Y/N) looked up at him, scanning his face for any sign of joking. ”Oh.” 

”I want to ask you to dinner this weekend. Like on a date.” Bucky said, subconsciously putting his hands in and out of his pockets. 

”You don't think that's moving too fast. I mean, it's not like you love me or anything.” She replied after a moment. 

Panic coursed through Bucky’s veins before he remembered what he had told Becca in the car the exact day he had kissed her. 

”Damn it, Becks, ” He mumbled. ”I didn't-” 

(Y/N) pressed a soft kiss to his lips to silence him, his heart seeming to skip at least ten beats. 

She pulled away, looking around to see if anyone saw. ”I understand. Don't worry about it. Pick me up at 8 on Saturday.” 

”Don't you want to know where we're going?” 

”Surprise me.” She said, placing a quick kiss on his cheek. ”Now get out of here. I have lots of work to do now so I'll be free.” 

Bucky stood in silence as she closed her door, a soft grin creeping onto his face. 

His chest squeezed slightly as he walked out to his car, smiling like a lunatic. 

The feeling he had in that car with her that night was back. And now he was able to place it. The feeling of newfound adoration. 

The feeling of finally being able to move on. 


End file.
